Funny Airport Jokes: “A Case of, one Man’s Meat is Another Man’s Poison”


Funny Airport Jokes

funny airport jokes


A woman comes home and sees her husband on a fly hunt with a fly swatter. She asks what he is doing and he says: I am on a fly hunt and I have already killed 5, 3 females and 2 males. How do you know that? the woman asks. Well, the man says: 2 were on my beer bottle and the other 3 were on the phone.




A man who was always unpleasant to his wife, takes her to the airport for a trip to France. In the migration room, while everyone can hear it, he wishes her good journey, and in an ironic tone he shouts: “Honey, don’t forget bring me a beautiful Frenchwoman, Ha Ha Ha !! ” His wife bows his head and continues nervously. She stays in France for 15 days. Upon her return, her husband shouts aloud: – “Honey, have you brought my Frenchwoman? – “I have done my utmost, she replies, now waiting to see if it will be a girl at birth !!!


On the London – New York flight route, a deeply attended flight attendant leans over one of the passengers: “Do you want tea or rather coffee?” The man chuckles and says: “In which of the two is the tea and in which the coffee?”

At the Montreal airport, a Jumbo Jet takes off to France. The main pilot takes the micro and says: “I welcome everyone on board for the flight to Charles De Gaulle airfield in Paris. The flight will go without incident and I advise the passengers to close their eyes after the film .. … “Suddenly the connection is broken for a few seconds and then the passengers hear a terrible scream and the captain yells:” Oops oops oops !!!! Oh my God! “After that everything is quiet. The passengers look at each other anxiously. The hostesses walk back and forth. However, the aircraft remains at the same height. Suddenly they hear crackling in the micro and they hear the captain again. “Ladies and gentlemen, my sincere apologies. But a hostess dropped a bag of boiling coffee on my lap. You should see the front of my pants! “” That’s nothing! “, A passenger shouts.” You should see mine from behind !!! ”

Flight attendant on airplane asks passenger: “Do you want something to eat?” Passenger asks: “What can I choose from?” Stewardess: “Yes or no”.

Communication In an airplane:
“This is your commander, I welcome you to this flight. We are currently flying at 34000 feet, above the Atlantic. If you look out the window on your left, you will see that both engines
are on fire there If you look out the window on your right, you will see that the right wing has broken off, and if you look down, you will see the Atlantic Ocean and a small boat with 3
people in it. pilot and one of the stewardesses. This is a recorded message, pleasant flight. ”

The hypochondria congress has been canceled due to illness.

You have it in your hand. It’s stiff, and now you have it in your mouth. Suddenly something comes out of your mouth. You are happy, you smile and you put the toothbrush back on the shelf!

Discharging someone with a policy: I don’t know how to make it without you, but from next week we’ll try.

A man gets into a taxi with a hot dog.
– Sir! This is not a restaurant!
– I know that, that’s why I brought my own food!

Is it white and is it going up?
A defile snowflake

The woman: shall we eat outside today?
– Are you crazy? It’s freezing outside!

The pilot and flight attendants
In an airplane, the captain plugs the microphone and announces to the passengers:

– Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 12,000 meters above sea level. The outside temperature is -60 degrees, and our speed is Mach1.

Then, unfortunately, he forgets to disconnect the microphone, and said to the co-pilot:

– Continue alone to control the machine. Me, I’m going to pee a shot, and then I’m going to skip the little hostess who just arrived in our company …

Red in confusion, the hostess having heard the captain from the bottom cabin, goes up the corridor of the plane to warn the commander of the big blunder. Then, in the middle of the cabin, an old lady stops our hostess and says:

– Gently, you have time my little one, he said he was going to the bathroom first!


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